, , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Blog:

How to complicate the simple act of sex.

If you ever wanted to find a very basic, simple and uncomplicated act made hugely complicated over centuries of existence by people who may or may not do or enjoy it, you need not look much further than sex.
All over the world cultures and societies have different ideals, views and acceptance of sex. It happens everywhere, in every culture but it might not be talked about, or is merely suggested or perhaps happens so frequently that it is an accepted daily (or perhaps hourly in some lucky cases) event.
In its very basic form it is the act of procreation, it exists for the continuation of the species. Biologically speaking, the male of the species inserts his penis into the females vagina, they wiggle it a bit, he experiences an orgasm and bam – impregnated… job done. Since there are so many of the human species it could be argued that it’s pretty much unnecessary for everybody to do it, perhaps that is why so many of our societies have attempted to restrict the availability or decency of sex.

You should be married, you must be faithful to that partner and not have sex with anyone else, you should keep it simple; anything out of the simplistic act of intercourse is disgusting. Acknowledging you do it is dirty, anything beyond the biological necessity is kinky, any sexual act in different positions, with props or other orifices involved is filthy. You shouldn’t discuss it openly, if at all. Sex is only there to have babies, don’t expect it at any other time. Nobody cares if you have a high sex drive and want it more than twice in your entire life; chances are you don’t anyway, that you would be extremely satisfied with a meagre twice a week without frills but you have never had it that often so you wouldn’t know. You should be focusing on having a career, working 40+ hours a week, being useful to society. Creating a ‘good life’ with your chosen partner, full of the things you enjoy sharing – but not sex, that’s still a jump on get on with it and get off again once a month isn’t it? Because life is too demanding to have the energy for enjoyable sex?

I sound bitter… Perhaps I am.

It’s a wonder any of us become balanced, level headed beings…

Imagine you are a single person, you find someone you are attracted to, you go on a date to a restaurant where you can lovingly watch each other get food stuck in your teeth and slurp spaghetti down your carefully chosen clothing. Everything seems to be going well and there is a sparkly little surge of feeling in your groin when he holds your face at the end of the evening and kisses you with tantalizing swiftness. A few weeks later you meet again, this time at the cinema so you can sit close together in the dark and enjoy the experience of not talking to each other, after all, start as you mean to go on, very few couples are able communicate at all about anything, let alone what really matters to them.

How much of your time would you save right there if you could run through a tick list of things you would like in your future life so you could get it right? Moonlit walks, skiing/beach holidays, camping trips, a pretty detached 4 bed house in a rural/city location of your preference, 2 children (subject to negotiation but at least one), believe in freedom of choice, not bigoted or biased, have level headed opinions but able to digest another persons point of view, be able to accept that they are not always right, no football but golfing acceptable, must drink but not in excess, non smoker, keen interest in personal hygiene, literate, considerate, must make you laugh and be good company, no anger/temper issues, arrogance out of the question, should enjoy spanking and oral sex, want to experiment, is tidy but not so tidy they constantly wander around behind you with a duster and look at you accusingly for making the place look messy, can have ‘dom’inatory persuasions but must be open to switching, loyal and trustworthy, hmmmm. Add to that list how important sexual satisfaction actually is to the person you are considering tying yourself up to all your life.
How much are you willing to forgo? What would you like in your life that makes all the striving to exist worthwhile and if you got a taste of it once are you willing to live without it?

Humans are very complicated animals.


The hot water gushed over Penny’s head and shoulders, she rarely got going in the morning without a shower, although lately it had been a battle of wills to get there before her son, Harry, who seemed to manage to spend hours preening himself before college and still managed to look like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards; today’s style apparently involved an upturned birds nest on his head and the ability to squint through his fringe. Today he had won the battle for first dibbs regardless of his habitual being unable to get out of bed in the morning, he had long gone before Penny pulled herself from under her duvet sneering at the alarm clock with contempt. Penny had attended at chamber of commerce event the night before, boring at best they were one of those business things that she felt obliged to attend. The event had led to a very coincidental bumping into her would be love interest Paul; although coincidental hardly seemed the case as she had told him that was where she would be that night, this was followed by several glasses of wine in the bar at Mark’s who looked on with an almost fatherly eye of disapproval.

Penny was feeling most unhappy with herself. She liked Paul, he was great company, witty and good looking, he had the luck to be nearly 10 years younger than she was but for some bizarre reason fancied the pants off her, literally, he wanted in her pants in a very good way and she had to admit she didn’t find that repulsive in any way, at all, no sir. She banged her forehead against the cold tiles muttering.
“Bloody Scrupples, why the hell did I get any? Nobody else seems to give a flying fuck.”
Paul, the desirable young man with a healthy interest in her sex life, was married, with young children, and for Penny, who’s bastard of an ex ran off with another woman, this was a no go area, she was unable to in all good conscious do the same – even fleetingly – to Paul’s wife.

The evening had left her feeling tense, horny and frustrated. Pulling herself from the cascade pouring from the wide shower head, she wiped her face on her flannel, then taking the shower off the wall bracket, slowly unscrewed the shower head. The water gushed freely from the hose in soft ripples. She pressed her back into the cold wall, the chill of the tiles made her gasp but it passed quickly, she bent her legs slightly and eased the delicate folds of her skin away from her clit, holding it back with her fingers leaving her bud exposed. Pushing her finger into the flow of the water so it formed a pressurised stream she directed the jet of water directly onto her clit so it pounded the sensitive organ, groaning loudly as the stimulation was so intense she felt an orgasm shudder through her body within seconds, bracing herself against the wall she rode the waves of pleasure, re directing the water flow as it started to subside, quickly building up to another explosion inside her. Her knees started shaking but she wasn’t quite done, once more she directed the jet of water over her clit and the last almost forced orgasm escaped, her breath leaving her body through gritted teeth, her legs gave way and she slid down the shower wall landing in a hot shuddering heap on the shower tray floor, gasping for air, shaking, slightly numb with a dirty great smile on her face.
“I really should finish washing before doing that.” She though, her body pleasantly exhausted, she used the end of the shower hose to rinse through her hair and applied shampoo and then conditioner from her sodden sitting position. Once done she pulled herself out of the shower and gasping at the time; flew through her bedroom finding her clothes with unwanted articles being scattered about her. Dressed, hair dried and tied back in a clip she looked around the state of the bed room and frowned at the mess, then frowned some more at the fact it didn’t matter. Nobody except herself and perhaps Harry should he wander in, would see it.
She flew through the after rush hour traffic like an avenging angel, choice words leaving her lips at other drivers supposed stupidity, the world is on a go slow when you are in a hurry.

Finding a parking spot outside the shop had her thanking her lucky stars and she was pleased to see her assistant Maria had the shop open and all the lights were on inside, there were even customers. Travelling through the double doors slipping into business mode she was surprised to see it was Mark, he looked away from his conversation with Maria and a naughty grin spread across his handsome face seeing her approach. Penny thought Mark was such a rogue, a total charmer, handsome and playful, she loved him to bits in a platonic kind of way.
“Penny!” he exclaimed as if he was surprised to see her there “So good to see you!” he opened his arms in a welcoming hug and she moved into his embrace happily.
“You rascal, you saw me last night.” She whispered in his ear, her lips brushing his lobe the way she knew drove him insane with desire.
“That doesn’t change a thing.” He whispered back at her, squeezing her tight. As she pulled away from him she caught the look in his eye, smouldering awareness of her as a woman.
“It’s good to see you too.” She grinned flirtatiously, “Any reason for this visit?”
“My shower has broken, bloody ungrateful heap of metal and plastic!” he rolled his eyes mischievously. “I told the wife you may have an ex display so she let me out just long enough to come and see you, the controlling wench, any other day and I would not be allowed to darken you door.”
“I’m sure she has a good reason for keeping you on such a short leash Mark.” Penny chuckled. He pouted.
“Not that I can remember; which always seems so unfair of her.” He smiled his crooked smile and Penny’s heart leapt. Mark was a debonair package of charm, wit and good looks that Penny considered dangerous at best, she so would, given the right circumstances, as with Paul, the circumstances were not likely to present themselves anytime soon and anyway, Mark had often said himself, he was all mouth and no trousers, happy to flirt forever but strangely loyal to his often flamboyant, artistic wife who generally treated his friends with an air of disapproval. Penny felt safe with Mark, he had never pushed beyond the boundaries of their friendship and she had known him a long time now. Perhaps he just didn’t really fancy her? Perhaps… Still the friendship worked well so why question it?

“You are in luck gorgeous, I have just the thing, it’s not particularly cheap to be honest, you could get one in town cheaper.” She added honestly.
“I’m not in town though am I and Janice is over there tapping her foot with some important social climbing lunch that she can’t possibly miss.” He shrugged “is it easy to fit?”
“Know any plumbers?” she asked cheekily
“As it happens” he grinned
“Easy as pie then, I will go fetch it for you.”


To be continued…



© Juliette Turrell