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The reflection of the sea this morning caught my eye.
I’ve woken in an introspective mood, one that makes me pensive, a little unfurled. It won’t take me long to pull my pieces together, seal over ancient cracks and apply balm to recent chips and dents but whilst being so close to my favourite source of calm it doesn’t hurt to let them breathe.
Elements have always offered me solace, especially water. When heartbroken, life worn, disappointed or just plain overwhelmed I always seek water to soothe me. Mostly, I’ve lived by water: the sea, lakes, rivers, streams: the times I haven’t have been my bleakest.
Once, years ago, heart shattered, I turned to my Mum in angst for comfort, after cuddles and cups of tea she decided we had to ‘do’ something, she’s more a person of action than I am, so we went for a walk by the river and I sat on a bench watching the boats bob on the canal in the pouring rain and sobbed. You can’t keep that in, it has to go out, tears in the rain (or the shower) are a perfect solution to me. It set a pattern I’ve returned to many times over the following years because it works for me. I seek water when life rocks me. I seek to be with water even when it doesn’t.
The sea is my first choice, in Blighty the furthest you are ever away from the sea is four hours, traffic allowing. Where I live, I can have my toes in the waves in just over one hour, yes I’ve timed it and often get frustrated if it takes more. My favourite beach is one hour and forty five minutes away on a good run, yes I am that anal. It helps me to know it’s that accessible sometimes.
The power of the sea is the draw for me, I prefer her riled, foaming, grasping the shore, feeling the moon’s forces. Just to stand and watch that magnificence, to hear her roar, feeling my own insignificance, the puzzle pieces of my troubles fall into place albeit temporarily; I can breathe with an empty head. I’ve been extremely grateful for her this week.
I love it here, this little corner of Wales. In fact I love a lot of Wales. It’s ragged beauty, melodic friendly people and expansive open countryside is hard to beat. I especially love this type of holiday, one where I make my morning coffee through the bleary eyes of last nights chatting and wine consumption, drag my chair outside and sit staring at the sea whilst sipping. My toes furling in the dew laden grass, my messy bed-hair ruffled by the breeze. Breathing the air tinged with salt and letting my mind wander.
I’ve spent too long telling you this; two cups of coffee, a lot of staring at the horizon and watching that reflection change. It’s time to re-engage with life.
Take care x