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A life has been chosen, yes, it was a choice.

There have been moments of crossroads and certain paths taken, sometimes with careful thought, other times with abandon.
Often through desperation that the other path would be rocky, too steep, overwhelming, engulfing.
Lonely.
Choices taken, not always for the right reasons but a choice was made all the same.
Stopping, breathing; being aware of where you find yourself, feeling stifled, restricted, caged. Crowded by situation, pinned by people you love. Expectations for tomorrow, plans laid for the future you were told was what you wanted.
It’s a dark swirling mass of confusion; minutes move slowly, life is endured from one second to the next, something to be got through, not relished and explored like it should be, just taken moment to moment in a survival strategy as if the world is covered in a thick insulating blanket of snow.
Feelings push through but they are muffled, sound escapes but it is distant, moments of clarity are few.

One sound, a moment in time, a snatched chance of a life-line arrives like light particles, sparkling on snowflakes, fragmented through icicles, sending warmth into the tundra, like spring waking up the new shoots and releasing life into the world.
Suddenly, you feel sunshine on your face, beams cast through the thick forest that has grown around your heart and you feel your soul lighten.
A possibility where you imagined none could exist, a glimmer of hope to help you to dance in the sunlight, love in the light, make everything shine.
You reach out and grasp at it as it shatters the cocoon surrounding your very existence, more vibrant and colourful offering great riches of possibility.

And yet…

A spark of defiance buried so deep, a knowledge, a self awareness shouting obvious truths; This precious life we are lucky to be living, contains elements of yourself you have struggled to capture.
No one is responsible for making you happy, just yourself.
No one should change your world for you, the choices that face you should be yours to be taken.

You can dance in the light of your own making…
Make the world thaw, be warm and full of light. Find those that wish to join you in your dance.

And you are back to the choices.

The road never looked so steep….

© Juliette Turrell

The Exotic Lady – 2012

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