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I don’t like to whinge but it’s been a bitch of a few months. just awful. After what was the most bizarre year of my life. Okay so I think most people feel like that. It’s been odd for most in different ways. But this? I don’t like to whinge.

I don’t like to moan but returning to full time work after being a stay at home mum for 10 years and a part time worker for 5, has its problems… yes, I’m short of words, I’m not communicating well after talking all day, do you know where my noise cancelling headphones are? I need an off button. I don’t like to moan.

I don’t like to create a fuss I know I’ve been preoccupied, focussed on getting through the day, the week and not that available for others and I’m happy to say that most of my issues aren’t about finding work hard, I’ve been happy with my ability even if I really am not enjoying the role… but more about still having to do a full time job in the home. I don’t like to create a fuss.

But I want my meals made and my washing done and to only have to organise my shit and look after myself. I want to have a quiet room to sit without the blasted tv noise and the kids home work mess. I want the dishes done and the hoovering and sweeping sorted. The dog walked and the cats fed, the beds changed, the bathroom cleaned. To be run a bath and looked after a bit.

I’d like people to understand that my life is not the same and I can’t be who I was for them. It’s not about you! I need people to be there for me for a change! But quietly supportive, making life work.

I don’t want to whinge, but I’m tired. So. Very. Tired. I can’t sleep, I can’t think. I need to stop.

Just make it all stop

©️juliette Turrell

Well that got it off my chest 😂