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A really delicious bloggy friend of mine posted a rather demanding and yet joyous request for information this last week. The delectable Fiery at Silently Smouldering Words wants us to talk about sex, if you don’t read her, you should… go now, this will wait.

You’re back? Okay… so I shall try and answer her questions as best I can because I do like to talk about sex. Go Figure.

1) What do you like?

What do you like is such a huge question isn’t it? I’ll try to condense. Well, I like connection and intimacy and sex that happens in my head first. I’m not a big fan of the brash groping out of the blue. I’m also not a fan of pretentious posturing, so if you’re planning a date with me, do it from the heart, because I’ll know if it’s put on. I love water and clean messy sex, yeah it’s a contradiction but I have an acute sense of smell and taste, nothing turns me off more than a stale body or too much aftershave, in fact I’d probably be allergic to you!

2) What’s your perfect evening (or morning.. ah..morning sexy time…) when it comes to smooshing our downstairs parts together?

I do particularly like afternoon sex, morning is great too but afternoon delight is so much better… Never public, I do not do public at all, some love the thrill, I find it anti erotic, the mere though makes me shudder, yet outdoors is favourite… Private, secluded, outdoor, afternoon sex… mmmmhmmmm.

3) What’s your favourite thing to do or have done upon your beautiful self?

I do love a good massage, giving, receiving, culminating in happy endings of course. Life doesn’t offer the time or privacy with preteens in the house to do this justice and I miss it, do they ever leave home? In fact I think mostly, time and privacy are the commodities that are missing from our lives. I’d like someone to make time and provide privacy upon my beautiful self, the rest will all be awesome.

4) Do you like talking about sex? Fear it?

No I don’t fear it, it’s as natural a piece of my life as anything else I do. I respect that other people don’t want to talk about it. I respect that people don’t want to discuss how they do it with their partner/s but I think in general terms it’s healthy to discuss sex in a non personal way and encourage discussion. Especially about sexual nature, kinks and preferences, these are good to vocalise and explore.

I do spend a lot of time online and have found that with the anonymous nature provided the other side of a screen, people will open up and talk more. Especially if they find a non judgemental ear, a listener. The minute someone gets personal and starts putting me in a scenario though, I’m out…

5) Maybe you don’t like sex. Choose not to do it? Prefer diving down there solo?

I do like sex, I do choose to do it when possible but I love a solo dive too, it’s a different kind of pleasure and I enjoy them both, interchangeably too, diving solo together is also a wonderful scenario.

6) Does it arouse you to talk about it or does it make you shy and you need a little…push in the right direction? Or maybe you need no pushing at all and have been dying to talk about it with me for ages! 

I’m not shy, just practical. You can’t smile at someone in the street and say “I do love your biceps, such gorgeous shaped fingers, can I suck them? I bet you taste wonderful?’ In the same way you’d say ‘Isn’t the weather beautiful today!’ Although, I’m probably thinking the prior. There is a time and place for everything… Being someone who enjoys thinking about sex and actually talking and writing about sex could, arguably, feed my hunger for openness on the subject, and thus sated I can function within the realms of normalcy and pass comments about the weather more easily… perhaps that’s why I have my little bloggy space? who knows.

I’m not aroused talking about it objectively because it’s a natural thing, part of who I am, who we are. I won’t simper and giggle either, it’s not something I think of as naughty… Sometimes I think the people who do get all giggly at the naughtiness of sex are the lucky ones, oh to be roused so easily!

7) What don’t you like?

I don’t like degrading acts or sadism, a little pain is delightful but that’s enough.

8) What do you love doing or having done to you?

I love a vast expanse of things… positions, toys, candlelight, temperature, texture, oil, oral, anal, restraints, blindfold, showers, hot tubs, balconies (aforementioned privacy required) mirrors, some food play… oh it’s endless!

9) What’s your opinion on porn? A firm (again! 😆) no? A yes please?

Most porn is made for men, I can’t stand watching a primped Botox princess fake enjoyment. There are very few ‘porn stars’ that make me want to watch them. I think most women would agree with that. However, I love watching Stoya, she’s delicious. I also enjoy watching threesomes and homosexual porn of a more erotic nature, tastefully and believably filmed. Fussy much? Yes.

10) Do you like boys? Girls? Neither? 

Bit of both…?

I like Men, not boys… I can’t get hot over someone I’m old enough to have given birth to.. so as I’m an advanced age I guess I’d draw the line at about 30 these days but preferably over 40 and most likely in the 50-57 range because I’ve always gone for older men.

Luckily I’m married and not looking to change that. But men for sure, tall, broad, greying, balding, still fit but not pumped, twinkly eyed beautiful men, with a sense of humour and confidence not arrogance.

I’ve always maintained that given the opportunity with an attractive woman I might just… but actually the older I get the less I’m interested in exploring that. But who knows, never say never.

11) Foreplay…mmm… more important than the actual sexy time…? Do tell.

Actual sexy time’? IMO foreplay IS the actual sexy time, more foreplay please!

12) Do you like to talk? A little dirty talk can be….mmmm….so good

Some people are naturally gifted at talking dirty, with a gifted person dirty talk is an incredible turn on, incredible…

Or perhaps you prefer silence…

Some people are not good at it and therefore should concentrate on other talents 🤣

13) Do you like to take control? Be controlled? 

Both, but always with respect and defined limits in a trusting relationship. It takes time, communication and patience… so worth it though.

14) Toys? 

Hell yes!!! I love my toy box, there is no such thing as too many sex toys, there just isn’t!!!

Other… accessories?

Aforementioned restraints, blindfold, ice cubes, candles, cream, strawberries, cucumbers… you get the idea

15) Do you love to be made love to, prefer to be pounded against a wall and taken? 

Bit of both?

A lot of both? Is that an option? Yes, both. Again communication and observation are key. I love it when my body language is heard and it’s a thrill to find I’ve interpreted correctly.

16) Do you see that sex can be a release but also, with the right person can be the key to locking you in love with them?

Two questions in one… I need to split that up.

Sex is a release, an escape, a way of soothing aches of multiple kinds. It can release our frustrations sexual and from life, it can keep us functioning, focussed, healthy. It’s an essential part of our being as a living soul, an area that should be satisfied alongside warmth, shelter, food and cleanliness.

The human condition often results in love coming from sex, attachment, obsession… but it’s not exclusive. Sex can be enjoyed intimately and closely without love. It’s better with love but it’s not necessary.

But locking in? Setting aside kink, if you love someone set them free. It’s not a ball and chain but a desire to be the best person you can be inside yourself, to encourage the person you want to be with, who wants to be with you to be their best person too, to enable, assist, support, love and care for each other and to be individually free… and then chose to be free, together.

Bloody hard to do…

and if someone doesn’t want to be with you? Set them free too… I know you didn’t mean it in quite that way but my soap box was twitching.

Did I tawk enough honey?